So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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