I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
