Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
