Sry I called you an 8
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
