I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
