I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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