What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
