My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
