i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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