I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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