john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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