Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
