when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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