Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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