he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
