I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize