that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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