hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
