he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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