you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
