their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
