Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
