I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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