i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
