i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
