Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
