I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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