grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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