Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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