were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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