Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think your dad took our porno
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
