Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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