next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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