Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
