walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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