I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
