well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
