He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
