Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
