I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am available for nakedness
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
