I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
