If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
