he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
