imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
