New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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