I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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