I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
