he puts the penis in happiness.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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