Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
