I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
