Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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