Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
