Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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