david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
