I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
