my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
