dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize