Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
