So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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