Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
