I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
