remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
