This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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