i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
